12.14pm

It’s Januaury , holy shit . Twenty 12 ay .
It’s not cheating if you don’t sleep . Random night , marrickville / Sydney style .

Fire works as expected , awesome .

I feel a little better all of a sudden about the tax I pay to live in this rude, beautiful city .

Random fire works going on round the street , I gather the Canberra friends have been visiting nsw

Must take a visit there this year to get me some good bondage wear and goods .

Happy 20 12 . From the balcony of a iPod .peace out, may our dreams and hopes come true m

To my dear friend

To my dear friend that just sent me a text message to get out and have fun . Thanks but no .

I’ve had several estastic ny moments in 2011 , and my 6 month comparitive projects starts tomorrow . I will see some hard times in the next 30 days .

Not sure how I will handle Matt , but I need to learn to live sober .

I have a pretty big history of addiction
but it’s got to a point where it’s not fair to me , nor the people I love .

I want my brain back . I want to be able achieve some thing , knowing that it was just me .

So here I am on nye , in my new room , clothes everywhere , red wine wAiting if I so choose .

So many reflective thoughts of this year , not all em good . I really hope I find some more friends in 2012 , I don’t want Newcastle , but Sydney is a lonely
Place .

Should I do laundry ? Such big decision on nye

Time to say goodbye to the last sunset of 2011 .

Happy 2012 . ish , m

12.37pm, back in Sydney . Depressed , and de motivated . well more just demotivated.

Lots of things to be done , consumed 3 coffee’s and a berocca, and all I feel like doing is sleeping.

Newy visit was a blast , and did really well this christmas.

Now to figure out what I want for 2012 , a car is high on the list .

To do champix against my dr’s recommendations…hmmm .

Ovaries. Oww, 2 and a half months worth .

No NY plans , could go to the city for a retro party , but cash is running low , and I have had a thousand better than NY moments though music festivals this year.

mhhh…. just a little nap needed.

M

So no Christmas letter this year

I started it , it’s written in two parts . Nearly mid night , and Santa comes to all the good boys & girls of the world soon.

6am train tomorrow , arrive @ maitland 9.59am . Plan to sleep the first hour of the journey .

Merry jollies to all . Be near or far , there has been thoughts of many people who are near and dear to me .

Wow … We have done some walking !!

Peace out , night kiddies , I hope your Christmas finds you safe and happy .

Xxx m

Jo

First thing

First thing I need to do , is learn how to light my ciggarette left handed

I didn’t go to the markets , what would be the point

I need to consoldate and figure out what present I’ve got for who , and knowing me as I do , there in at least 3 different places

Thumbs up to this weekend , being every thing I need

And some ! 5.42 pm , second load of laundry. m

As I entered my room

It smelt like skank. It’s not , but matt & I got very close .

My beautician gets the, sort of full story , and I’m still deciding what to do for dinner .

Vegimite and chips sandwich is a high possibility at this point . I might even bake muffins

There is no biscuits left .

I think I’ll go to the movies by myself tomorrow, if Ny eve has hit the cinema yet .

Sooo glad I didnt go to Penrith today , I did think of it last minute when in canturbury , but a hangover was just one of the reasons that I was happy to pike on that concept .

I need to pee , and I have a thousand loads of washing to do . Well at least 4 . Grown ?!! m

Oh ps I met a guy that sung michelle my bell to me last night . He was tall , slightly geeky , and dam I wish I had got to know his name . Minge !!!

Oh then there was that Irish guy , Glendalough , he name was kevin , I gad but a brief 5 minutes , and whilst I was pretty sure he was a womaniser , I hope I get to meet him again .

I want you to be free

I want you to be free from me . I drink , to escape , I smoke for energy .I don’t know how to live straight . Something gotta give , I’m flipping coins to make decisions .

I’ve go to face penrith on Saturday , the last time I was there my heart broke , I wept . How could he be soo heartless , I still share moments with him in my head .

In reality , he probably wouldn’t of cared . He talked a lot , I listened . No one has called . Work is sooo quite . It’s that time of year.

I drink , and it makes the pain worse .

It’s that time of year , what to write in one ‘s Christmas letter.

Lee roles in , she gave me notice . All good , but leaving me financially in the lurch .

She lights the house , steals a ciggarette .

Shower , bed on a empty stomach and dirty house cause I just can’t be fuck .

And so this is Christmas … M

Matt’s speech

So @ 7.54 the morning , I sent the email , i’m interested , and would like to proceed to the next stage

Matt helped move a longue into my house the morning , and I told him the update , and how rolling dice and leaving it up to fate .

He talk me thru rejection as a actor it’s second nature for him to deal with it . But I’m finding it tricky not to get emotionally engaged .

They have scheduled me for 9am Monday morning . Owww !! That really will put me thru my paces .

I’m writing the email in my head . A sea change , is much harder than

I think.

Wise words from a friend , demons follow you , and they will . There will be dark and hard times , I think I’m strong enough , I think if I jump off I won’t drown.

Fuuuckkk , I’m emotionally involved , but how can I not be .

Sorry for the random spaces , still learning how to use this thing .

m

I dare not write to my mum

Am I making a deal with her, or deal with myself , I’m sick to gut , in a tizzy of happy , caution and negiotion .

It went well , The Job is not what I was i thought it was , but exciting and challenging it the same sense .

I’m not ready to start to the 1st of feb ,hmmm … Will check calender on how to be cheeky on that !

I have flights book over in feb for a visit to qld .

Handover , I have put so much into that role , I’ll need to do a handover . For Kate , for my clients , for qld .

Can I raise them a extra k , if I get the offer?

Must not get too emotionally attached , questions to ask, and after tonight 24 hours to think .

And woosu lee , strolls in the house . And I have a bucket load of washing to clear , so my house doesn’t look like I’m a hobo for the guest that are arriving over the next 3 nights .

Peace out ! Confused , m

I have

I call this: Ride thru! :-)

 Tomorrow is the Vic interview , and before I plug-in , put away the dishes , and find homes for my clothes, I thought id present Ride Thru . Got  up the big hill, that continually plagues me. The weird bit is mentally I wasnt even trying .

Got all the short cuts down pat , to Dulwich Hill, and thought of Barry, as I Jay-Rode , across a few sets of Traffic  lights.

Things to do , work email to check. 8.30, aim to be in bed in 2 hours.

Fuck you starsigns, I will not believe its gloom.

for a Monday . M